Saturday, October 17, 2009

Words from Travis

By Travis Lane

We all know Ari’s sickness has been a roller coaster of ups and downs; good and bad. Good health for a couple of days and then unexpected and devastating. Even to the point of near-death as her body has collapsed from the disease. Most of it has had to do with her condition of Diabetes Insipidus, which has caused her sodium levels to rise and fall. She has become extremely dehydrated and in a matter of minutes she can collapse, have convulsions, and minor comas completely take over her physical body.

She has also experienced a large amount of pain over this last week. Pain, that oxycodine and morphine could not alleviate. The doctors don’t know exactly where the pain came from or if it will return. Her blood levels have also been very weak, requiring blood transfusions. The most consistent symptom has been a fever on a daily basis. Sometimes she has two or three fevers a day, but without fail, at least one a day. The hope is that she has some kind of viral infection that is causing these symptoms.

However, they have run test after test this week, and are not finding any type of virus or infection. As a result, the doctors believe it is the LCH that is causing her symptoms. It is very important we find out. According to the Oncology doctor, if it is the LCH we must aggressively change what we are doing because it isn’t enough. If we don’t, she may rapidly decline. Similar case studies in the past have not been favorable. (You can translate that for yourself.)

Unfortunately, if it is the LCH that is causing all of these symptoms including: fever and pain. Then, the road ahead will be very, very challenging. They are going to start all of the tests, surgeries, biopsies, cat scans, and x-rays, etc. There are many and they are painful and discomforting. Mom, Jaymi, Lori, Jake, and Amber have witnessed and helped with the tests firsthand.

If it is LCH, that is causing it, the therapy will be much more aggressive. The chemo will be more potent, causing riskier and more painful side effects. She is already a radiation bomb ready to go off! According to the doctor, because she is in her sixth week of chemo treatment, she should not be experiencing these symptoms if she is in remission. Unfortunately, with LCH, if a patient doesn’t enter soon, the chances of survival are less likely.

On the hand, we are hoping that is a virus or an infection. If it is, we get to continue with antibiotics and intensive care and she will be fine—figuratively speaking. According to science and medicine, in my opinion, the diagnosis is pointing to LCH. But that is not what we want. Haley and I are going to start a fast. We are not sure what to fast for. My first thought was to fast that she has an infection or a virus. (I never thought I would fast for that reason.)

If anyone has any inspiration intuition, please share. I also think it would be great to fast for Amber and her situation. No, not her marriage to Jake . She has been afflicted with passing kidney stones and it is extremely painful.

This situation reminds me of tough man tournaments. You know you have to step into the ring and fight, but you don’t know who you are going to fight. It could be the 6’ 6” 250 pounder with years of fighting, or it could be the 150 pounder who’s friends talked him into entering the competition. So yes, I am fearful of who our opponent is. I feel like I am sitting in the locker room waiting for my opponents name to be drawn. I guess this is a moment in life you hope you have trained well for. As I’m sitting here typing this into my phone, I am wondering if I am prepared to fight the 6’ 6” opponent. Is my faith, patience, charity, belief, and hope sufficient? Have I honored my Priesthood and am I worthy to commune on a Divine level? What do I know about the Atonement? Can I access it on a level sufficient to help Arianna bear what may be ahead of her? Is my relationship with God and Christ enough to call upon the powers of Heaven for comfort and support for Arianna to endure what challenge may come.

However, my mind cannot rest from the thought of what if Arianna does not make it? Was I as her father prepared spiritually, physically, emotionally, and intellectually enough to do all I could to help her? And, did I give her the love and care that she needed while she lived her short two years on this earth? I guess those are good questions regardless Arianna’s situation. Questions I should ask myself about Haley, Kaley, Taylor, and Laney. And, all of the people I love.

1 comment:

  1. I will be praying and fasting for you! I love you guys! I wish I could give you more words of comfort and tell you I know what you are going through but of course I can't. And a lot of people in the family are saying the same thing. We are here for you if you need anything. Just know that we are all thinking of you, Haley and Arianna! Have faith and know that your trial will last but a small moment. Just repeating what Vicki wrote in her blog. Love you guys! Here is just a suggestion please don't get offended by it but have you thought about letting a spiritual healer help? Maybe a spiritual healer can atleast find out why she is going throught this. Just a suggestion so please just take it as that. Love, The Johnson's