I know a lot of people will try to tell me it is not my fault and i know it isn't. But it could have been different. She wanted it different and that is why I need to apologize to her. I know that it was supposed to happen this way. But i feel bad because i feel that is was for me to learn certain things and I am sorry that my kids and my husband sometimes suffer for my learning process. But that is life and I know they love me enough to forgive me and put up with it again and again.
I have faith and am grateful for this whole experience and I know it is because Heavenly Father loves me and loves her that everything is happening. I believe she is to pure for this world and am happy for her to not have to deal with things. I have learned that I need to trust my Family and Travis. Trust that he is the priesthood in our family. I trust and know that Heavenly father loves me and will comfort me and will always be there for me. I am grateful to him for all my blessings. Travis sometimes teases me but I truly believe that every thing that happens in our lives is for a reason. And that the Lord is very aware and active in our lives. Thank you every one for all your love, prayers, and fasting. I know that it has helped.
Posts
Praying for Arianna and all of your family at this time. Love and big hugs!
ReplyDeleteWe just want you to know that we have been fasting for your family today.
ReplyDeletePrayers to you to comfort your broken heart, my her sweet smile and the memories get you thru all the heartache.
ReplyDeleteTravis and Haiey - Please know I have been thinking about you and you have been in my prayers. I have missed you a lot since our Arizona days. Your strength and faith amazes me. Ari must be one special litte girl. I'm sending all my love your way!
ReplyDeleteSending prayers your way. I'm so sorry and hope God will help you through this. Haley, if you had made different decisions you'd probably be saying the same thing wishing you'd have done something different. I know Ari knew you loved her. Such a beautiful little spirit. I'm sure she's being welcomed with big hugs by family on the other side of the veil. Love you.
ReplyDeleteRandon
The Cord
ReplyDeleteAuthor Unknown
We are connected,
My child and I,
By an invisible cord,
Not seen by the eye.
It's not like the cord
That connects us 'til birth
This cord can't be seen
By any on earth.
This cord does its work
Right from the start.
It binds us together
Attached to my heart.
I know that it's there
Though no one can see
The invisible cord
From my child to me.
The strength of this cord
Man could create
It withstands the test
Can hold any weight.
And though you are gone,
Though you're not here with me,
The cord is still there
But no one can see.
It pulls at my heart
I am bruised…. I am sore,
But this cord is my lifeline
As never before.
I am thankful that God
Connects us this way
A mother and child
Death can't take away!
This poem was given to my mother when my brother passed away at age 15. It still gives her comfort today and I hope it too will comfort you in your time of loss.
From the mom of another LCH child - I am so terribly sorry for your loss. My heart breaks for you. There are no words to express how sorry I am for what you have been through and for your family's loss. I will carry your pain with me and continue to pray for a better future for our LCH babies.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry! (I found your blog through Lizzie's.) I met your kids back in December when I was in ICS with my daughter (she had AML). I had a good chat with your oldest girl, she is so smart. She was taking care of your baby and I just admired how well she was doing being a little mom to her siblings. I chatted with your kids for awhile and they told me about their little sister. I am so sorry. What a trial. You guys have endured so much and I just can't imagine how it must all feel. Your little girl is beautiful and she is pure and sweet. I am sorry I didn't get to meet you while we were there. I just said a little prayer for your family. Hugs from a stranger.
ReplyDeleteAll the best,
Jill
littleairbear.blogspot.com
Oh Haley, We would have all made the same choices you did. Believe me. Please know that your George Washington Academy family loves you and your family. Ari is happy now and you know that. It is okay to not want to give her up. You are her mother. She will always be remembered by those whose lives she touched.
ReplyDeleteYou and your family will continue to be in all of our prayers.
Michelle Cowles
My heart breaks for you. Ari is truly an angel sent to walk with us for a little while.
ReplyDeleteShe knows you love her so much and she knows that you did everything you could to keep her.
Ari did everything right.
Fly high Ari.
COLE's Prayer Team
www.colesfoundation.org
-Kris
My heart breaks as I read your blog. I looked to your family as you went through the bone marrow transplant as I will go through it in a couple of weeks. My thoughts and prays are with you and your family at this time.
ReplyDeleteAutumn
aubreesfight.blogspot.com