Arianna is my Hero. She has done some of the most amazing things. And she has done them with a smile on her face.
I wanted to rite down some of the things that she has taught me or that her journey has taught me. First she has taught me how you can do anything out of love. She has taught me not to be a wimp. She has taught me life is short spend it on the important things, The most important one holding and loving your children. I have learned how important the gospel is to me. How Heavenly Father is always there for you. She has taught me to be happy no matter what and spread that happiness. She has taught me not to whine or complain. I have learned that our bodies are a gift and a miracle. She has taught me to trust in the Lord, Travis, and my children. She has taught me i need to protect my children. She has taught me to love unconditionally and to have faith. And to always be Happy.
Friday, May 6, 2011
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Ari I Love you!!!
As I sit her and watch my daughter slip away there are some things I want to tell her first is that I love her unconditionally. That everyone in her life loves her. That i would do anything for her. That she is the strongest most amazing spirit i have ever known. That she is beautiful. That i will miss her. That it will be a miracle if she stays or goes. That her Father in Heaven loves her and is there for her. That her savior loves her. That she will be in good hands. That I want her to be happy. That i wish i could take it all away. That i wish i could hold her. And last is that I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't trust her and Travis. That I'm sorry she is passing in a hospital instead of at home. That I'm sorry she couldn't spend her last moments in my arms. I'm sorry that she has been tortured her last month here. I'm sorry that she loves me so much and is so obedient that she let us torture her. I'm sorry she couldn't spend more time with her family. And That I hope her and Travis will forgive me.
I know a lot of people will try to tell me it is not my fault and i know it isn't. But it could have been different. She wanted it different and that is why I need to apologize to her. I know that it was supposed to happen this way. But i feel bad because i feel that is was for me to learn certain things and I am sorry that my kids and my husband sometimes suffer for my learning process. But that is life and I know they love me enough to forgive me and put up with it again and again.
I have faith and am grateful for this whole experience and I know it is because Heavenly Father loves me and loves her that everything is happening. I believe she is to pure for this world and am happy for her to not have to deal with things. I have learned that I need to trust my Family and Travis. Trust that he is the priesthood in our family. I trust and know that Heavenly father loves me and will comfort me and will always be there for me. I am grateful to him for all my blessings. Travis sometimes teases me but I truly believe that every thing that happens in our lives is for a reason. And that the Lord is very aware and active in our lives. Thank you every one for all your love, prayers, and fasting. I know that it has helped.
These pictures were taken within weeks of each other. So Sad. It breaks my heart
I know a lot of people will try to tell me it is not my fault and i know it isn't. But it could have been different. She wanted it different and that is why I need to apologize to her. I know that it was supposed to happen this way. But i feel bad because i feel that is was for me to learn certain things and I am sorry that my kids and my husband sometimes suffer for my learning process. But that is life and I know they love me enough to forgive me and put up with it again and again.
I have faith and am grateful for this whole experience and I know it is because Heavenly Father loves me and loves her that everything is happening. I believe she is to pure for this world and am happy for her to not have to deal with things. I have learned that I need to trust my Family and Travis. Trust that he is the priesthood in our family. I trust and know that Heavenly father loves me and will comfort me and will always be there for me. I am grateful to him for all my blessings. Travis sometimes teases me but I truly believe that every thing that happens in our lives is for a reason. And that the Lord is very aware and active in our lives. Thank you every one for all your love, prayers, and fasting. I know that it has helped.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
every little memory
The last time the kids saw Ari. Some random doctor for all I know she could have been an angel Said, "yes Ari could go out and see the kids." Witch of course they don't let you do. She was So exited we all laughed. We told the story of this puppy that stole a kiss from Ari a few days ago she laughed and said, "yep yep". It was a wonderful moment and I am so glad we had it.
Her first smile was three days old and every day since. She was the happiest little girl. She loved to dance and sing. She loved to swim. I remember taking her to the rec center when she was just a baby. She loved this little swing they have there. Going to grandma's funeral at 5 weeks old getting pulled off the bed along with all the bedding in the motterhome.
All our trips in the car. She loved going on rides with Dad and getting food.
I love how she would pretend to be asleep so the nurses wouldn't mess with her.
the day we caught some freaky virus and we were alone I got such a fever the next day I had fever blisters in my eyelids there wasn't much I could do. So I just held her sang to her and prayed for help.
I have to say ironically she was my healthiest pregnancy and easiest birth. When she came out we had the biggest surprise of our lives. We were expecting a boy and she looked so much like her brother that for about 5 min we kept saying how cute he is. Then Lisa our midwife said " I think you should take a look at this." We laughed so hard. Of course we were thrilled to have such a beautiful baby girl.
A little about ari
Her cheesser is one of my favorite things. When we would do family pictueres we always make sure we all do a cheesier just like Ari. She is so funny. She loves making you laugh. She loves kitties and puppies. She is my kitty cat and daddy s puppy. The reason she is Mom'y kitty is because I would stroke her hair and she would shed just like a kitty cat. She actually loved that her hair was falling out because she loved being just like a kitty. She would do tricks just like the puppy's she met in the hospital her favorite was to bark and i would give her a treat. Her treat was these little baby cheeses she got her first one in out patient.
Her favorite book is I'm trying to be like Jesus. She loved the page that showed a litlle girl holding a baby. That was her holding Krysta lilly. She loves strawberry shortcake. She is strawberry shortcake. I am orange, Alaina is rasberry, Kaley is lemon merain, Cassidy is grape, Lorrianna is blueberry and Lilly is the queen of the berrykins. The song at the beginging is our favorite and she would always make sure we were both wautching at that part and sing along. part of the song goes'" We like what we do we do what we like don't we have a very nice life." Beleive me we had the hole movie memorized. She went through a Dora stage. Dora the mermaid to be exact.
She loves sleeping in moms arm and before Lilly came she wouldn't let me leave her side. She was always really cuddly until it started getting pretty painful to touch her. And even though She didn't like to be stroked she would stroke my arm or my face and I loved it.
She liked singing and dancing. She has such a beautiful voice. She would always sing its rainy its pouring. One day we were coming home from salt lake and she started singing, " I go see my friends my Kaley friend my Taylor friend my Laney friend. I go see my friends. She loved her family and we were her best friends. She also
loved her uncle Joe.
She like to be read to and she like starfall. Her Favorite was the friend and curios George. My cousin Tracy came to visit one day and said he had a strong feeling to go buy curios George books and bring them to Ari. We read each one over 50 times, but our favorite one was curios George eats pancakes. That silly monkey. When we went to curious George in the theater Ari reminded us of that adorable monkey. I am so grateful he followed that prompting.
her favorite songs were of course trying to be like Jesus, baby mine, and twinkle twinkle little star. we had fun playing the song yanke doodle went to town and little zig zag girl.
She loved all her blankets.
She loves water in any shape and form. Her and Travis went to fill up all 25 five gallon buckets one time and you would have thought she went to Disney land. When her di would run out she loved just being in the tub drinking and peeing.
She loved green gummy bears.
she has to watch when she would get anything done.When they would poke her or give her med through her IV. You have to say one two three. She is very brave and amazing. oh don't forget no bumping every time she would take a drink in the car. she loves going for walks sometimes for about 5 hours at a time. She also loves making us laugh and she thinks her dad is the funniest person alive.
Her first smile was three days old and every day since. She was the happiest little girl. She loved to dance and sing. She loved to swim. I remember taking her to the rec center when she was just a baby. She loved this little swing they have there. Going to grandma's funeral at 5 weeks old getting pulled off the bed along with all the bedding in the motterhome.
All our trips in the car. She loved going on rides with Dad and getting food.
I love how she would pretend to be asleep so the nurses wouldn't mess with her.
the day we caught some freaky virus and we were alone I got such a fever the next day I had fever blisters in my eyelids there wasn't much I could do. So I just held her sang to her and prayed for help.
I have to say ironically she was my healthiest pregnancy and easiest birth. When she came out we had the biggest surprise of our lives. We were expecting a boy and she looked so much like her brother that for about 5 min we kept saying how cute he is. Then Lisa our midwife said " I think you should take a look at this." We laughed so hard. Of course we were thrilled to have such a beautiful baby girl.
A little about ari
Her cheesser is one of my favorite things. When we would do family pictueres we always make sure we all do a cheesier just like Ari. She is so funny. She loves making you laugh. She loves kitties and puppies. She is my kitty cat and daddy s puppy. The reason she is Mom'y kitty is because I would stroke her hair and she would shed just like a kitty cat. She actually loved that her hair was falling out because she loved being just like a kitty. She would do tricks just like the puppy's she met in the hospital her favorite was to bark and i would give her a treat. Her treat was these little baby cheeses she got her first one in out patient.
Her favorite book is I'm trying to be like Jesus. She loved the page that showed a litlle girl holding a baby. That was her holding Krysta lilly. She loves strawberry shortcake. She is strawberry shortcake. I am orange, Alaina is rasberry, Kaley is lemon merain, Cassidy is grape, Lorrianna is blueberry and Lilly is the queen of the berrykins. The song at the beginging is our favorite and she would always make sure we were both wautching at that part and sing along. part of the song goes'" We like what we do we do what we like don't we have a very nice life." Beleive me we had the hole movie memorized. She went through a Dora stage. Dora the mermaid to be exact.
She loves sleeping in moms arm and before Lilly came she wouldn't let me leave her side. She was always really cuddly until it started getting pretty painful to touch her. And even though She didn't like to be stroked she would stroke my arm or my face and I loved it.
She liked singing and dancing. She has such a beautiful voice. She would always sing its rainy its pouring. One day we were coming home from salt lake and she started singing, " I go see my friends my Kaley friend my Taylor friend my Laney friend. I go see my friends. She loved her family and we were her best friends. She also
loved her uncle Joe.
She like to be read to and she like starfall. Her Favorite was the friend and curios George. My cousin Tracy came to visit one day and said he had a strong feeling to go buy curios George books and bring them to Ari. We read each one over 50 times, but our favorite one was curios George eats pancakes. That silly monkey. When we went to curious George in the theater Ari reminded us of that adorable monkey. I am so grateful he followed that prompting.
her favorite songs were of course trying to be like Jesus, baby mine, and twinkle twinkle little star. we had fun playing the song yanke doodle went to town and little zig zag girl.
She loved all her blankets.
She loves water in any shape and form. Her and Travis went to fill up all 25 five gallon buckets one time and you would have thought she went to Disney land. When her di would run out she loved just being in the tub drinking and peeing.
She loved green gummy bears.
she has to watch when she would get anything done.When they would poke her or give her med through her IV. You have to say one two three. She is very brave and amazing. oh don't forget no bumping every time she would take a drink in the car. she loves going for walks sometimes for about 5 hours at a time. She also loves making us laugh and she thinks her dad is the funniest person alive.
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