Today a good friend of ours died. Her name was Jessenia. She was 9 years old and completely full of life. She came here with an 85% chance to live. We arrived at about the same time but she has never been able to leave.

Some days I lay in bed and I will hear the bells ring, This means a child has finished their last chemo and is getting to go home. hopefully never to return here again. It makes me cry every time.

No matter the out come a lot of times it all about the journey.

I asked God to take away my pride, and god said, "No."
He said it was not for him to take away, but for me to give up.

I asked God to make my suffering child whole, and God said "No."
He said her spirit is whole, her body is only temporary.

I asked God to grant me patience, and God said "No."
He said that patience is a by-product of tribulation, it isn't granted; it's earned.

I asked God to give me happiness, and God said "No."
He said He gives blessings. Happiness is up to me.

I asked God to spare me pain, and God said "No."
He said suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to Me.

I asked God to make my spirit grow, and God said "No."
He said I must grow on my own, but He will prune me to make me fruitful.

I asked God if He loved me, and God said "Yes."
He gave me His only beloved Son who died for me. And I will be in Heaven someday because I believe.

I asked God to help me love others as much as He loves me.
And God said, "Ah, finally you have the idea."
-quoted by E. Dale LeBaron

A Better Day!

Today has been such a great day. Ari has been really sick this past week. Everyday it seemed she would get something new. She was going diarrhea every 15 min, she wasn't eating, She developed really painful hemorrhoids, She had about three different infections, her ear started bleeding, They were having to monitor her hart really good because her potassium was out of whack, She got ulcers in her mouth, And was having 3 to 5 fevers a day. She did not smile or let me leave her side for about 6 to 7 days. Her bum was so sad. I felt so helpless. I believe most the time watching someone we love go through pain, we would so much rather take it upon us. About 2 night ago as we were falling asleep I just kept praying over and over again, "please help her to stop pooping and get some relief please". That night she cut back. That day she did a lot better and she smiled for the first time in a week. Today she has done amazing we have been playing and eating all morning. We are so happy and grateful.

Pictures of Ari

She has been living in the bath, for awhile it was the only thing that brought her relief. She loves taking baths with her buddies. we accidentally flushed her buddy down the toilet. she was not very happy with us. She only gets them with her food tray once a week, since she hasn't been eating we thought she wouldn't get another one. We told one of her nurses, Dave what happened and he brought her up 5 new ones. That was when she gave us her first smile.

Our Visit To See Ari

Written by Minalyn Lane, Ari's Grandma

Krew loves Spiderman, so we got their pictures with him

The kids even got to talk to Travis on Skype, they loved that

Laney signing Ari's photo frame, her grandmother, Lori, made

Ari in her hospital bed

Here we are all eating at the cafeteria. This where we got to visit with Haley. Haley is such a trooper and what an example she is to all of us. Thanks so much Haley, we love you.

Ari has two infections and today her ears burst. They had to put in a feeding tube for her, she just doesn't feel like eating much. This time the chemo has been a lot harder on her and she has been really sick and in a lot more pain. She is so sweet.

Thank you, thank you

Life gets a little crazy in here. You never are bored or have much free time because Ari needs constant attention. Sometimes it takes me a couple hours just to get my dinner eaten.

Right now I am holding Ari; she is falling asleep. I'm eating a delicious salad Mom made me. I am reading Ari's blog and people's comments and crying like a baby. I am so grateful to Liz for starting this blog. She is such a good writer and always has me in tears. I love reading everyone's comments. Hearing about Jennifer's little boy who has had a similiar journey and is now doing great really lifts my spirits.

The post about donating blood really got me going. Literally, every kid on this floor is alive today because people donated blood. It touches me how many people have donated blood because of knowing Ari's story.

I really believe a lot of the Lanes have super human blood. My blood is lacking iron, super thin, and has all kinds of issues. Ari must have more of my genes then Travis's.

Anyway, thank you, thank you everyone for all your stories, comments, and prayers. We love you all.

It's Morning

Yesterday was crazy. Ari has never lost her desire to drink. Water is her drug. Yesterday morning she ran out of her medicine that tells her body to hold on to her fluid and stop urinating. At the same time she was vomiting, peeing, and SHE WOULD NOT DRINK. Even when she is vomiting a lot she will keep up her fluids by drinking like crazy. So she got dehydrated super quickly and started blacking out. We got medicine in her and she pulled out of it pretty quickly. It is very scary when this happens. The rest of the day went pretty well. Mornings are always the worst.

The doctor working with us said she grew up in a poor country where the number one cause of death in children is dehydration. Mainly, because they do not have the resources to treat it.