Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Welcome Home, Ari
We are so pleased to announce that Ari has stabilized enough to go back to St. George. They have been up in Salt Lake for a full month. She is on several medications and has an I.V. in her arm, but she is home! On Monday, they will be making the trip back to SLC for blood work and chemotherapy. Thank you so much for all of your prayers. We truly believe they have helped her to sustain her health.
Monday, September 28, 2009
A Mother's Words
Told by Minalyn Lane, Travis’ Mom
Almost three decades ago, I was living with the possibility of losing a child to an illness that became life-threatening. I can understand the terror that Travis and Haley are going through as they have to wait and wonder and watch as their little one struggles to survive. I remember sitting in the hospital, wondering what was going to happen. As a mother, I wondered if my baby was going to live. My baby was so precious, so tiny and I felt helpless. All I could do was wait and pray.
Jay and I had just had our fourth child. We could not have been happier. We had been blessed with three beautiful girls and we would have been happy to have either a boy or a girl. Back when I was having babies, you didn’t get to find out what you were having. It was always a surprise. After nine months of waiting, we were so excited to hear the doctor announce, “It’s a boy!”
When he was only 3 weeks old, he contracted pneumonia. After going to my local pediatrician several times, I felt silly when they told me I was overreacting and the baby was fine. Travis had quit eating and was sleeping non-stop. I couldn’t get him to wake up. Finally, we rushed him to the emergency room. I was devastated when I found out what he had and that I should have taken him in earlier. I was so afraid we were going to lose him.
At one point, the doctors told us his heart, lungs, and liver were enlarging. At times, his heart literally would stop. I still remember Jay pulling me aside and telling me he didn't think our little boy was going to make it. I remember Jay telling me that it would be okay; we would get to raise him in the next life. I cried at the thought of losing him. I had a strong testimony of our eternal plan, but I could not let him go. He was my little boy; I had carried him for nine months and I wasn’t ready to let him go. Even so, Jay and I decided we should have Donalyn, Elizabeth, and Vicki come to the hospital to tell him goodbye. I have experienced some painful physcial accidents in my life, but none could ever compare to the pain that ripped out my heart during that time.
How grateful I was to see him recover back to health and be able to lead a life of good health. He has truly been blessed. Travis has always been a optimist and light in my life. He has always taken such good care of his mother. Even as a young man, he doted on me and treated me like a queen. I can remember the “love” notes he would leave for me. One was posted on the wall in the laundry room where he knew I spent a lot of time. I think it stayed up there for years. I never got tired of looking at it. When he was just a boy, him and his best friend Jared Thatcher, invited me and Neta (Jared’s mom) on a double-date. They asked us if they could drive because they weren’t old enough too.
Now the irony of the present day is that I am watching the son I almost lost watch his daughter struggle with life and death. I am not sure which hurt worse. Being a young mother watching my baby fight for his life, or being a mature mother watching my baby as a grown man feel the same way I did so many years ago. I can say I truly know his pain and his fears.
I know this. I am so proud of the man he has grown into. He is handling his situation so well, with so much optimism. Watching him as a baby, I had no idea what a comfort he would be to me when he grew into a man. I only wish I could do something for him to help ease the pain. There truly is no greater pain than to watch your child suffer. The strength of his testimony and his love for his God is a great example and a blessing to everyone. He truly desires God’s will for Ari and accepts this trial with the greatest humility.
Ari has the strength and tenacity of her father. She is a fighter in every sense of the word. She won’t give up until her last breath. What courage she has and what bravery she has shown at such a tender age. There is no doubt she is a special spirit. My prayers continue to be with their family. I love them all very much.
Almost three decades ago, I was living with the possibility of losing a child to an illness that became life-threatening. I can understand the terror that Travis and Haley are going through as they have to wait and wonder and watch as their little one struggles to survive. I remember sitting in the hospital, wondering what was going to happen. As a mother, I wondered if my baby was going to live. My baby was so precious, so tiny and I felt helpless. All I could do was wait and pray.
Jay and I had just had our fourth child. We could not have been happier. We had been blessed with three beautiful girls and we would have been happy to have either a boy or a girl. Back when I was having babies, you didn’t get to find out what you were having. It was always a surprise. After nine months of waiting, we were so excited to hear the doctor announce, “It’s a boy!”
When he was only 3 weeks old, he contracted pneumonia. After going to my local pediatrician several times, I felt silly when they told me I was overreacting and the baby was fine. Travis had quit eating and was sleeping non-stop. I couldn’t get him to wake up. Finally, we rushed him to the emergency room. I was devastated when I found out what he had and that I should have taken him in earlier. I was so afraid we were going to lose him.
At one point, the doctors told us his heart, lungs, and liver were enlarging. At times, his heart literally would stop. I still remember Jay pulling me aside and telling me he didn't think our little boy was going to make it. I remember Jay telling me that it would be okay; we would get to raise him in the next life. I cried at the thought of losing him. I had a strong testimony of our eternal plan, but I could not let him go. He was my little boy; I had carried him for nine months and I wasn’t ready to let him go. Even so, Jay and I decided we should have Donalyn, Elizabeth, and Vicki come to the hospital to tell him goodbye. I have experienced some painful physcial accidents in my life, but none could ever compare to the pain that ripped out my heart during that time.
How grateful I was to see him recover back to health and be able to lead a life of good health. He has truly been blessed. Travis has always been a optimist and light in my life. He has always taken such good care of his mother. Even as a young man, he doted on me and treated me like a queen. I can remember the “love” notes he would leave for me. One was posted on the wall in the laundry room where he knew I spent a lot of time. I think it stayed up there for years. I never got tired of looking at it. When he was just a boy, him and his best friend Jared Thatcher, invited me and Neta (Jared’s mom) on a double-date. They asked us if they could drive because they weren’t old enough too.
Now the irony of the present day is that I am watching the son I almost lost watch his daughter struggle with life and death. I am not sure which hurt worse. Being a young mother watching my baby fight for his life, or being a mature mother watching my baby as a grown man feel the same way I did so many years ago. I can say I truly know his pain and his fears.
I know this. I am so proud of the man he has grown into. He is handling his situation so well, with so much optimism. Watching him as a baby, I had no idea what a comfort he would be to me when he grew into a man. I only wish I could do something for him to help ease the pain. There truly is no greater pain than to watch your child suffer. The strength of his testimony and his love for his God is a great example and a blessing to everyone. He truly desires God’s will for Ari and accepts this trial with the greatest humility.
Ari has the strength and tenacity of her father. She is a fighter in every sense of the word. She won’t give up until her last breath. What courage she has and what bravery she has shown at such a tender age. There is no doubt she is a special spirit. My prayers continue to be with their family. I love them all very much.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Sunday Report
Ari's got a fever of 101 Saturday night. We started to get a little worried, but no sooner did the worry start than the fever broke. Thank goodness. During the night, she experienced more pain than usual due to the LCH. But, today, she is in good spirits. Her color is coming back and she looks good. Getting her out of the hospital for a couple of days has helped a lot. We will be taking her back to the hospital tomorrow for follow-up.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
It's Been A Good Day
Arianna is doing really well. It's a good day and it's wonderful to see her feeling so well. She was even well enough to be released from the hospital for the weekend. We are taking her to Scott and Taylor's baptisms. She has done well in the past for a short period and then relapsed, so we are crossing our fingers that she will continue to stabilize. We do have to take her back to the hospital on Monday.
Friday, September 25, 2009
A Story From the Past Part VIII: A More Detailed Email
By Travis Lane
I wrote back to some of my friends that wrote to me and wanted to share more with them about Ari's experiences. She has come so near to death, it is unbelievable, sacred, hoped-for, hoped-against, and many more emotions all rolled into one. Haley has been my rock. I watch her and cannot believe what an incredible woman and mother she is.
When you marry someone, you have no idea how this person would react during an immense trial. You're wrapped up in "being in love." I thought I was in love with Haley when I met her. I thought I knew what a great woman I was marrying. I thought she was a spiritual, faithful daughter of our Heavenly Father. The small knowledge I had then at that time in our courtship, is a tiny grain of salt compared to what I feel for her now. She has become the ultimate mother as she has carefully tended to our little angel. Not just during the hospital, but during the many months that preceded Ari's condition. Haley spent many sleepless nights holding her, giving her water, changing her diaper, and loving her as only a mother can. My respect and love for my wife has heightened to unimaginable degrees as we have held onto each other through this ordeal.
From: "Travis"
Date: Thu, 24 Sep 2009 05:52:16 +0000
To: Josh and Joni
Subject: A story from the past
Thanks you guys for all of the offers. Here at the hospital they have a laundry room and a kitchen. Everyone in our area of the hospital are basically living at the hospital because most of the kids are on life support or they are in a very late stage of cancer and the odds are highly against them. So the hospital does provide good living quarters. Due to the necessity of the parents wanting and needing to be there 24 hours.
I would love to see you guys. I haven't seen Josh for so long. Right now for some reason I think a lot about when Josh and I were younger. I don't know why, its actually odd. I think I long for the days of peace and no worries. However I really am grateful for this experience Haley and I have grown so much from it in so many areas and different ways.
It truly has been a great blessing from God to allow us to have this experience. It is no doubt a challenge. For example, this morning around 2:00 a.m. She got a fever of 105 degrees due to the infection in her lungs and the virus in her liver. Unfortunately, the chemotherapy has damaged or has shut down her immune system. So she can't fight those two off and it literally starts killing her. This morning when it happened her eyes got dark circles around them. She got so weak she couldn't hold her head up she began shaking like she was in a minor seizure or convulsion. She had just drank a gallon in a half of water because of her "DI" diabetes insipidus she was literally dying of dehydration and the water she drank did nothing but go right through her. We (doctors) still haven't figured out her DI and how to accurately treat it for her.
The nurses had just checked her blood the hour prior and it was somewhat stable considering her stage of sickness. Nothing was too alarming. Her heart beat got really slow around 20 bpm and she could not breathe on her own. I told the nurses that her blood must be low or weak. The nurse told me she just checked it an hour ago and it was fine. I insisted there was something wrong. I said, "She's dying."
The nurse said "She's just sick from the fever."
I firmly replied, "No. This is like last week when we had to do an emergency blood transfusion.
She said, " I'm only supposed to check the blood every four hours and she just got a blood transfusion at 10:00 p.m."
More firmly I insisted, "We need the doctor. She is dying."
Within 5 minutes the doctor on the floor came in, immediately looked at her and ordered for blood to be transfused. The disease LCH and the fevers had attacked that blood and burnt it up within one hour. The doctor said we were within minutes of losing her. In the last month we have had 3 of those situations. Sadly, because of the virus and infection it has made it that much more of a challenge for her.
When it happened this morning, I was waiting for the doctor. I was watching the monitor that displayed her heartbeat and her oxygen intake. Her heartbeat dropped to around 20 bpm. I knew she was dying and I knew she only had minutes left.
Haley was holding her and encouraging her to fight and hold on saying that we will have help for her soon. Haley whispered to her, "We all love you. Your brother and sisters love you. We're all so proud of how strong you are and the courage you have. We love you so so much and we want you here with us. But if you have to go that is okay. We will see you again, we just want you to be peaceful and happy."
Haley tried hard to fight back the tears so that she could continue to encourage her, but the emotion was so much for her to bear. I reached down and took hold of Ari's little hand. It was very cold. I bent over and put my hand under her head and neck. I kissed my little angel goodbye. I thought we were losing her. Then I told her that I love her. At that point, they came in with the blood. Miraculously, she pulled out of it and we have another day with her.
The biggest challenge to me is wondering if God wants her back or not. Haley and I wonder at times if we encourage her to fight so hard and that is just prolonging her passing. But it is next to impossible to not fight and believe that she will recover. Haley and I have committed to have a positive attitude and to learn from this experience. We will fight and encourage all that we can. But, we put our faith in Christ and the Atonement and put our trust in God's decision. I do have to admit that at times Haley and I feel like we have it hard (well Ari has it hard), but then we meet someone else and they tell us their child's situation and their story. Then Haley and I actually feel guilty.
Thank you so much for all your offers.
--Travis
I wrote back to some of my friends that wrote to me and wanted to share more with them about Ari's experiences. She has come so near to death, it is unbelievable, sacred, hoped-for, hoped-against, and many more emotions all rolled into one. Haley has been my rock. I watch her and cannot believe what an incredible woman and mother she is.
When you marry someone, you have no idea how this person would react during an immense trial. You're wrapped up in "being in love." I thought I was in love with Haley when I met her. I thought I knew what a great woman I was marrying. I thought she was a spiritual, faithful daughter of our Heavenly Father. The small knowledge I had then at that time in our courtship, is a tiny grain of salt compared to what I feel for her now. She has become the ultimate mother as she has carefully tended to our little angel. Not just during the hospital, but during the many months that preceded Ari's condition. Haley spent many sleepless nights holding her, giving her water, changing her diaper, and loving her as only a mother can. My respect and love for my wife has heightened to unimaginable degrees as we have held onto each other through this ordeal.
From: "Travis"
Date: Thu, 24 Sep 2009 05:52:16 +0000
To: Josh and Joni
Subject: A story from the past
Thanks you guys for all of the offers. Here at the hospital they have a laundry room and a kitchen. Everyone in our area of the hospital are basically living at the hospital because most of the kids are on life support or they are in a very late stage of cancer and the odds are highly against them. So the hospital does provide good living quarters. Due to the necessity of the parents wanting and needing to be there 24 hours.
I would love to see you guys. I haven't seen Josh for so long. Right now for some reason I think a lot about when Josh and I were younger. I don't know why, its actually odd. I think I long for the days of peace and no worries. However I really am grateful for this experience Haley and I have grown so much from it in so many areas and different ways.
It truly has been a great blessing from God to allow us to have this experience. It is no doubt a challenge. For example, this morning around 2:00 a.m. She got a fever of 105 degrees due to the infection in her lungs and the virus in her liver. Unfortunately, the chemotherapy has damaged or has shut down her immune system. So she can't fight those two off and it literally starts killing her. This morning when it happened her eyes got dark circles around them. She got so weak she couldn't hold her head up she began shaking like she was in a minor seizure or convulsion. She had just drank a gallon in a half of water because of her "DI" diabetes insipidus she was literally dying of dehydration and the water she drank did nothing but go right through her. We (doctors) still haven't figured out her DI and how to accurately treat it for her.
The nurses had just checked her blood the hour prior and it was somewhat stable considering her stage of sickness. Nothing was too alarming. Her heart beat got really slow around 20 bpm and she could not breathe on her own. I told the nurses that her blood must be low or weak. The nurse told me she just checked it an hour ago and it was fine. I insisted there was something wrong. I said, "She's dying."
The nurse said "She's just sick from the fever."
I firmly replied, "No. This is like last week when we had to do an emergency blood transfusion.
She said, " I'm only supposed to check the blood every four hours and she just got a blood transfusion at 10:00 p.m."
More firmly I insisted, "We need the doctor. She is dying."
Within 5 minutes the doctor on the floor came in, immediately looked at her and ordered for blood to be transfused. The disease LCH and the fevers had attacked that blood and burnt it up within one hour. The doctor said we were within minutes of losing her. In the last month we have had 3 of those situations. Sadly, because of the virus and infection it has made it that much more of a challenge for her.
When it happened this morning, I was waiting for the doctor. I was watching the monitor that displayed her heartbeat and her oxygen intake. Her heartbeat dropped to around 20 bpm. I knew she was dying and I knew she only had minutes left.
Haley was holding her and encouraging her to fight and hold on saying that we will have help for her soon. Haley whispered to her, "We all love you. Your brother and sisters love you. We're all so proud of how strong you are and the courage you have. We love you so so much and we want you here with us. But if you have to go that is okay. We will see you again, we just want you to be peaceful and happy."
Haley tried hard to fight back the tears so that she could continue to encourage her, but the emotion was so much for her to bear. I reached down and took hold of Ari's little hand. It was very cold. I bent over and put my hand under her head and neck. I kissed my little angel goodbye. I thought we were losing her. Then I told her that I love her. At that point, they came in with the blood. Miraculously, she pulled out of it and we have another day with her.
The biggest challenge to me is wondering if God wants her back or not. Haley and I wonder at times if we encourage her to fight so hard and that is just prolonging her passing. But it is next to impossible to not fight and believe that she will recover. Haley and I have committed to have a positive attitude and to learn from this experience. We will fight and encourage all that we can. But, we put our faith in Christ and the Atonement and put our trust in God's decision. I do have to admit that at times Haley and I feel like we have it hard (well Ari has it hard), but then we meet someone else and they tell us their child's situation and their story. Then Haley and I actually feel guilty.
Thank you so much for all your offers.
--Travis
A Story From the Past Part VII: An Email From Friends
By Travis Lane
I received emails from some of my friends expressing their love, support, and prayers for my family. It truly meant so much to me to know that I am blessed to have lifetime friends. The world changes so quickly and people hardly ever stay in the same place anymore. I feel fortunate that a lot of my friends are friends I have had since childhood.
I am feeling overwhelmed by the people that have supported us. I run into people almost every day who have said they are following the blog. In some ways, I feel like I don't want that. It's like when I am driving in my car, sometimes I won't put my seatbelt on. I know it doesn't make sense, but I think that I don't need a seatbelt because I'm not going to need it. I'm not going to get in a wreck. In that sense, I don't want this blog. I don't want people following Ari's condition because it means she has a condition to follow.
I do want eveyrone to know that I am grateful for all of your love and support. I know my family has received emails and notes from hundreds of people wishing us well and wanting them to forward their thoughts. I appreciate it so much. There is not much anyone can do to fix this problem, but the support certainly helps to ease the pain. Thank you, from the bottom of our hearts.
I received emails from some of my friends expressing their love, support, and prayers for my family. It truly meant so much to me to know that I am blessed to have lifetime friends. The world changes so quickly and people hardly ever stay in the same place anymore. I feel fortunate that a lot of my friends are friends I have had since childhood.
I am feeling overwhelmed by the people that have supported us. I run into people almost every day who have said they are following the blog. In some ways, I feel like I don't want that. It's like when I am driving in my car, sometimes I won't put my seatbelt on. I know it doesn't make sense, but I think that I don't need a seatbelt because I'm not going to need it. I'm not going to get in a wreck. In that sense, I don't want this blog. I don't want people following Ari's condition because it means she has a condition to follow.
I do want eveyrone to know that I am grateful for all of your love and support. I know my family has received emails and notes from hundreds of people wishing us well and wanting them to forward their thoughts. I appreciate it so much. There is not much anyone can do to fix this problem, but the support certainly helps to ease the pain. Thank you, from the bottom of our hearts.
Haley and Ari
A common sleep position for Haley and Ari. Although, it's not new. Haley has been sleeping with Ari for months as she has been up all night tending to her insatiable thirst.
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